If it weren't for my dad, I'd be a pirate right now
I went back to the midwest for my cousin's wedding over the last weekend.
During the reception dinner, my dad and I were sitting at a table with some of the groom's family. It's important to note that they seem to be a very wealthy family, and are members of a country club, which is where the dinner was being held. They did their best to include Dad and I in their conversations, and went through the requisite bits of inclusive conversation: name, rank, and serial number.
One woman was asking my dad what he did for a living. After dad announced that he was recently retired, she talked with him about it for a few minutes, and then asked me what I do.
They were very nice people - please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say anything bad about them. But when the questions came to me, I couldn't help but respond the way I did.
Without really thinking, I said "I'm a pirate."
"A pilot?"
"No. A pirate."
My dad looked at me, and - with a second or two delay - started laughing, then explained what it was that I really do for a living. The woman laughed a bit, and then asked some follow up question about it that I don't remember.
So there.
Yarrrrrrr!