A day without lawn care^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Han immigrant
Tomorrow, as you may or may not know, is the Great American Day Without An Immigrant (which is a pretty ironic title, if you ask me. Of course, it's one I just came up with, so maybe that's just the way my head works.) If you're planning on getting your lawn cut, your pool cleaned, or your car washed tomorrow, you'd better plan on rescheduling.
That's right, folks, the immigrants are pissed, and the American public is the target. Apparently, we're not treating the people who slipped across the border in the middle of the night in a way that's kind and considerate.
Shame on all of us, for these are the people that make our way of life thrive -- not to mention that Mexican women seem to have abundant cleavage. I mean seriously. If we want to ogle them, we should treat them better. Or, as they would say "mejor" ... at least according to the Babelfish.
Of course, the 'j' is pronounced like an 'h', which adds a totally new layer of hilarity.
Seriously, though, I understand the immigrants' pain. They're doing jobs that I certainly wouldn't want to do, but that's probably because I have a college education.
Oh wait... No, I don't.
I'm just picky.
And lazy.
And a legal citizen.
And would much rather stare at a dark-skinned woman's bosom than do actual physical labor... well, *most* physical labor.
So, as a sign of support for the immigrant worker, all Spanish content will be removed from BigBlackGlasses as of today. No longer will with the downtrodden be anonymously forgotten. No longer will the under class of America be the victim of the corporate lapdog. No longer will I write this terribly angsty prose and cross out the word 'no' because it's the same in Spanish as it is in English.
That's right, kids. As of today, I'm going to be not only a better American, but a better Earthican. Today, I start treating all humans with the same amount of respect. Today, I start understanding that everyone is created equally. Today I start tipping foreign strippers just a little bit more, depending on their cupsize, of course.
Today, I become...
Eh, fuck it.
Go to work.
(Like I always say, 'If you're going to go to Hell, why not make sure you have a good seat?')