Why I'm Doing What I'm Doing
Enough people have asked me why it is that I'm doing the shit I'm doing (piercing, hair color, etc) that I thought I'd write a post about it. So, here's the down low on the up... uh... skirt.
The truthful answer is that I've always wanted to do this. I've always wanted to have my hair wild colors. I've always wanted to put metal in my face. I've always wanted to be that person who's just a little bit different than the rest of the crowd but who knows his shit when it comes right down to whatever it is that it's coming down to.
In the past, I never felt like I could get away with doing any of this. I was always trying to be the most "normal" person I could be - appearance-wise. I always wanted to look professional on the outside so that I could get in good with the people who could get me places (read: good jobs where I could show off my l33t skillz). I let that part of my identity go into hidiing.
Which is not to say that I was pretending to be a different person. I wasn't. I just had to conform to certain standards on the outside in order to fit into my surroundings. I was still me on the inside, and I let that shine through (for the most part) when I knew it was safe (i.e. I didn't shout 'FUCK' at the top of my lungs on the first day of a new job... I had the common sense to wait until at leat the second week).
And so we come to the present. I now have a job at a company where they don't care how I present myself on the outside - it's the l33t skillz that they're concerned with. And so, I'm taking advantage of that. I'm coloring my hair and piercing my body because I can. I'm sure that after the novelty of being who I could never be before wears off, I'll find a happy median between the two worlds and exist there peacefully until my midlife crisis. At that point, I make no promises. But for now, I'm just happy experimenting. I'm reinventing myself into who I want to be *today*. And I think it's fun.